Dear parent at my bookstore,
Please tell me you weren't serious when you refused your child a book because she had already seen the movie.
Sincerely, you're an idiot.
Dear War on Terror,
Please end. I'd like to come home soon.
Sincerely, a solider who misses his family.
Dear people who offer me Edward Cullen in exchange for awsome dead people,
No way I'm taking that sh*t up here. Why do you think he's immortal?
Sincerely, God.
Dear Pocket Gnome,
Please stop tangling my earphones.
Sincerely, Anonymous.
Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely, Toast.¨
Dear Seatbelt,
I was just leaning over. We are not about to have a car accident.
Sincerely, You're strangling me.
Dear Americans,
Ching-chong is not a word.
Sincerely, Chinese.
Dear Mother,
Cum is not the proper text message abbreviation for "come".
Sincerely, Your Teenage Daughter.
Dear Google,
They are only using you to get to me!
Sincerely, Wikipedia.
Dear Spider,
Please come out from behind the couch. I just want to have a nice, friendly chat.
Sincerely, Shoe.
Dear World.
Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... And PLEASE don't try to shove it down my child's throat.
Sincerely, tired of hearing your religious guff.
